Nothing of True Value is Ever Lost

The following is from a daily guided journal. I found it amazingly inspiring today and wanted to share.

All human cycles mirror the cycles of the seasons. In winter, life awaits in dormant roots and snow—covered seeds. It’s a time of stillness and potential. Spring brings an awakening of new life and new plans. It’s a time of hope and determination. Summer is about expansive growth, blossoming, and fruiting. It’s a time of joyful connection and abundance. Finally, in the aptly named fall, energy declines and retreats inward. Flowers close and shrivel, leaves die and drop, and trees stand bare.

If we perceive this phase as a loss — if we cling to material elements of what we’ve been through — it’s a time of nostalgia and grief. But, if we recognize that nothing of true value can be lost, then it’s a time of crystal clear reflection. When nothing stands in the way, we can see precisely and brilliantly the everlasting gift in the experience. Growth can’t be lost.

In anything you might seek to protect from loss — your body, your possessions, your personality, your family — the value is in your relationship with that person or thing, in the Love, the Healing, and the Connection it brings you. The absence of the physical expression of that relationship doesn’t negate the relationship or its value. The worth of these protected things is in experiencing and uniting with their essence — and coming back to yourself, more whole than ever.

Love, experience, consciousness, play, growth, and connection — these greatest treasures of our lives are un-lose-able.


Meditations before Kaddish

When I die, give what’s left of me away
to children and old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
cry for your brother walking the street beside you.
And when you need me, put your arms around anyone
and give them what you need to give me.

I want to leave you something.
something better than words or sounds.
Look for me in the people I’ve known or loved,
and if you cannot give me away,
at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.

You can love me best by letting hands touch hands,
and by letting go of children that need to be free.
Love doesn’t die, people do.
So, when all that’s left of me is love,
give me away.


Vincent Van Gogh Visits the Gallery


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My 2018

My 2018… wasn’t so great. I didn’t talk about it very much on social media, so apologies if this is surprising to some of you. I lost my sight, barely avoided a diagnosis of MS or brain tumor and instead was told I have atypical optic neuritis.

On top of that, kiddo was in the hospital for nearly a month. It was a very rough year. Kiddo has recovered and is doing absolutely wonderful. She’s the absolute light of our lives.

As for me, I’m grateful for what happened. It sounds ridiculous to feel positive about something so scary, but it made my “vision” for myself so much clearer. I’m still not 100%. But, without the help of some amazing doctors and nutritional guidance by Christopher Kent, I very much doubt I would have had as much of a recovery as I had. This January 1 looks so different from last year, both in my nutrition, in my spiritual growth, and in my general outlook on life.

My one new year resolution is to be more present. I want to remember that every day is a gift. Every day is a brand new start. Every day is a bit of improvement in my vision, in my understanding of life, in watching my daughter grow up, in being with my husband, in nurturing friendships.

I will be more present.


The Office

Ryan: “Did you see ‘Saw’?”

Dwight: “Of course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time.”

Inspiration Quotes

Ships don’t sink…

Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. Ships sink because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.

Inspiration Quotes

Happiness is the new rich

Happiness is the new rich.
Inner peace is the new success.
Health is the new wealth.
Kindness is the new cool.

Syed Balkhi
Inspiration Quotes

Today I asked my body what she needed.

Today I asked my body what she needed. Which is a big deal Considering my joumey of Not Really Asking That Much. I thought she might need more water. Or protein. Or greens. Or yoga. Or supplements. Or movement. But as I stood in the shower Reflecting on her stretch marks, Her roundness where I would like flatness. Her softness where I would like firmness. All those conditioned wishes That form a bundle of Never-Quite-Right-Ness. She whispered very gently: Could you just love me like this?

Hollie Holden

Quick Update

Things I haven’t drank since July 1:

  • Cow’s Milk
  • Coffee beverages
  • Alcohol

Things I haven’t eaten since July 20:

  • Fast food
  • Carbonated beverages
  • Refined sugars / sweeteners
  • Artificial colors / flavors
  • Processed foods

Things I haven’t experienced since July 1:

  • Headaches
  • Upset stomach
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Self-loathing

Things I have experienced since July 1:

  • Meditation
  • More energy
  • Less stress and anxiety
  • Easier time falling asleep
  • Weight loss