Today I asked my body what she needed.
Which is a big deal
Considering my joumey of
Not Really Asking That Much.
I thought she might need more water.
But as I stood in the shower
Reﬂecting on her stretch marks,
Her roundness where I would like ﬂatness.
Her softness where I would like ﬁrmness.
All those conditioned wishes
That form a bundle of
She whispered very gently:
Could you just love me like this?
– Hollie Holden
Ryan: “Did you see ‘Saw’?”
Dwight: “Of course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time.” S06E16
And Google Maps documented it in S08E04.
is the new rich.
is the new success.
is the new wealth.
is the new cool.
Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; ships sing because of the water that gets in them. Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down.
Things I haven’t drank since July 1:
- Cow’s Milk
- Coffee beverages
Things I haven’t eaten since July 20:
- Fast food
- Carbonated beverages
- Refined sugars / sweeteners
- Artificial colors / flavors
- Processed foods
Things I haven’t experienced since July 1:
- Upset stomach
- Trouble sleeping
Things I have experienced since July 1:
- More energy
- Less stress and anxiety
- Easier time falling asleep
- Weight loss
- IMPROVED VISION
Right this daytime minute, the stars above are below as well. Under your feet! On the other side of the Earth! Whatever you’re doing right now, you’re doing it in the midst of stars. Wherever you are on the pale blue dot — in Australia, in Alaska, in Guatemala — stars surround and cradle you.
Peer through the blue squint at the clouds, nod your recognition to all that star-filled space behind them. Seeing no end, sense how precious small you are. Settle in, cherish the flesh that embodies your tiny piece of all that magnificence.
Sometimes you’ll forget where you truly spin. After all, the gauzy atmosphere of Earth has its own allure and learning, and birds bring you near to yourself in a fashion more intimate than stars. But when you remember the wider view and pump your perspective hard, you’ll work the muscle that buffs you multidimensional, and makes you a spirit athlete.
Switching your view back and forth, out to in, from stars to birds, builds a giant alignment. Stamina! You can do anything. Courage! You can go anywhere. Suppleness! You can talk with anyone at all. For you belong to the clan of creators, we who whirl in the stars aware we are surrounded and cradled in radiance.
Susa Silvermarie 2015
Since my last visit, my right eye has gone from 20/100 to 20/70, while the left eye stayed at 20/30. My color vision (what I call “static”) is still not great, but doc says it’s one of the last things to return. He did remind me that the fact that I can see so well that I can pass a driver’s test without any need to list any impairment is a huge improvement.
This has been a crazy thing to go through. And, I’m still going. It’s so hard to be optimistic when it’s something I can’t ignore. I “see” it all the time, no matter what I’m doing.
I’m trying to remind myself that he started the first few visits by telling me, in so many words, “this could be as good as it gets, keep an eye on the steroids.” I’m feeling optimistic that he instead called me the Energizer Bunny (i just keep going).